The start of my book...

Chapter 1

Standing in my living room watching my ex-husband walk towards his brother’s truck, to leave yet again and do whatever he wanted to do, enthralled me with such and intense anger. I had to get it out, to let the frustration out of my body or else explode. I picked up a shoe and threw it through the glass door all the while screaming out in anger. He turned, looked at me, and said,

“You’re a stupid bitch, I hope you know that!”

I just stood there, exhausted, crying, and defeated, not knowing what to do next or how to make myself move. I turned and looked at my daughter, beautiful and innocent of hate, and realized that I had to find the strength to keep going; it wasn’t all about me anymore, had it ever really been about me? I had to move, to keep moving. I picked up the phone and called my only outlet in life at the time, my mother, and I asked her, how did I get here mama? How has my life come down to this? But I knew the answer to this; I knew what caused me to head down this path of destruction. But is it something I will ever be able to overcome?

I just started this and it's something I have been working on in my head for a while. Please, let me know what you think, good or bad?? I cant wait to hear your comments!! Thanks so much!!!

College for dummies

Its been over a weeks since my last post and what a week it has been. I finally got my schedule for college which is super exciting and very scary. I cant believe Im actually going to do this. I have finally got all my ducks in a row and its really happening. And Im pretty sure I have gone to far to chicken out now. I have dreamed about going back to college and becoming a nurse for years now and I think its finally happening. I have said since I decided to go that I was definetly going to go on and get my bachelors degree. But recently I have been debating on going even further. I figure if Im ok with school and really enjoy my new found career, that I may get my masters and test to become a Nurse Practitioner for women health. I have been interested in becoming a mid wife since I had a mid wifes for my second pregnancy and it was the best experience of my life. I wish I had, had the same experience with my first girl, but regardless, it was still amazing. Anyways, am I crazy? I'm almost 31 years old and Im just starting school. Is this really all possible or am I putting to much on my plate. I guess Im just getting scared. I wish there was a handbook out there that had all the answers to life in it so we could all just read our book and not have to make all these life changing decisions. At least I have a huge support system in my husband whom is so fantastic. I thank God for him each day. Keep praying for me everyone as I start this whole new chapter in life that is scaring the crap out of me.

All about me

Where to start...Ok, I'm a mother and a wife and soon will be a nursing student. I start college this fall and I am so excited and so nervous at the same time. I'm praying that God will give me the confidence in myself to do my best. I'm sure He will.
Ok, so lets talk about my girls. I have two beautiful girls. Emma Grace is 8 years old and Mary Kathryn is 21 months old. They are both wonderfully opinonated and strong girls. But both still need all of mama's attention. I also have three step teenagers....yes teenagers. Samantha is 19 and out on her own at this point, Brianna is 16 and she is trying to find her place in life and then there is Cody, he's 18 and the first teenage boy, and only teenage boy, I will ever deal with.I'm so glad I had girls!!! But I love them all, they are fabulous.
And Last but definetly not least, My Husband, Matthew Eric. I love him so so so much. I never believed there was really a true sole mate for each of us until I met him.He is fantastic. He is a super hard worker and he provides for all of us. I really cant say a single bad thing about him, at least today I cant, hahaha!!
Well that is all me, My family is my life, they mean the world to me. I try to do everything to make them all happy everyday. I thank the Lord each and everyday for all of them, without them, I wouldnt be me....